Green Christmas

Not White like Bing's, not Blue like Elvis's, but lush and Green like the current festive season in New Jersey.

Maybe four years ago, the first snow came on Christmas morning. Last year, we stood in a good two foot trench of the white stuff shivering to see Santa come to town on a fire truck.

This weekend, I'll be attending what should be the coldest game at Giants Stadium all year long in a damn t-shirt and bermuda shorts.

Every holiday season as far back as I can remember has started with an event. Last year it was the trip to Poughkeepsie to buy our tree in early December when it started snowing as we picked out our Christmas centerpiece from a forest. This year, every time I hear "It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas" on the myriad radio stations that have been playing holiday songs since the day after Thanksgiving, I want to ask: "Which exit on the turnpike are you turning off? Because here, it looks like mid-September tops."

Luckily, given the nature of my earnings, my shopping was done in July after a particularly large windfall (it's all relative, but when you have an annual regularly salary of $0.00, a "windfall" can be finding a nickel in a storm drain.) I say luckily, because Christmas shopping should not be undertaken in near 70 degree sunshine. Unless you do it in July. Like me. Hmmm.