Friday, May 18, 2007

Here comes the story 'bout a Hurricane

Actually, not a hurricane. Nor a tornado (although I was sitting in the middle of the bastard, and let me tell you, if you told me it was a tornado, I would have believed you.)

The little town where I live was visited by this non-tornado, and left a mess in its wake. Trees down everywhere, power lines live in the street, torrential rain, cars smashed to pieces, houses all but destroyed and close to collapsing - I even had to step up the parenting when we lost power and I couldn't use the TV as the primary caregiver.

All this meant my little town made the TV news, and no less than a good friend in a starring role bemoaning the hole in his roof caused by one of three trees that fell on his house. Totally surreal.

Here's a pic I took when I (and with hindsight, I'm not proud of this) took the kids in the car and drove around looking for good photos in the aftermath.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Celebrity News

In the most exciting turn of events since I finished the first draft of TWIMCT, I have incredibly landed a celebrity to write a foreword for my new project.

I will write more specifically later, but 1) it's confirmed and 2) it's someone you will recognize from the 1980s. Apart from the role that convinced me he was the guy I wanted, he was in The Dukes of Hazzard, The Rockford Files and Police Academy 5. He even appeared in The Red Hand Gang - but no, it's not the infamous James Bond III...

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

The Whole Tooth

Roll up, roll up to be the first to make a joke about the British, their teeth and the quality of their dentists!

Here's the scoop - I was driving along a couple of weeks ago, chewing some lime/raspberry Trident when *pop* out comes a filling dating back to the 1980s. The impending dread hit me right about then.

Yes, I grew up going to National Health Dentists - for free. Including for no added cost were the following quotes: "It's just a small filling, so we won't use any Novocaine" "It won't hurt - this drill goes really fast!" and "We'll wait until you've finished school before I do this (dental work) - so you will pay me full price".

Now, I have the joys of U.S. dentists, who say things like: "Holy sh!t! Did a butcher work in here?" "This bridge (from the U.K.) is like a piece of cardboard" and "Hey! Get in here and look at these x-rays! They're hilarious!"

Of course, no trip to the dentist has caused me any pain since 1990, but the trauma is still something I have to deal with. I was born with no adult teeth in the two "vampire tooth" spots, so until 1997 I had the baby teeth there. As you can imagine, they looked like something that was supposed to last 10 years and had been abused for more than 20. One was almost hollow where the adult "fang" beneath it, being made of stronger stuff, wore its way inside it to within a hair's breadth of the nerve. Even fixing that gubbins wasn't painful. Just boring.

But in the days when fillings came with stern looks and several dozen rinses to get the blood out, I would suffer. Even through my 20s when I went to the dentist I would write myself affirmation notes:

"Dear Adam -

When you read this, you will be getting ready to go the dentist. When you wrote this, you just got back and it didn't hurt at all. It was boring, and your jaw will hurt afterwards, but the nurse is rather fruity so that makes up for any discomfort.

Your trusted friend:

Needless to say, today's trip took about 20 minutes, was totally painless, and I sat back and watched Toy Story 2 with my son on the TV as the guy replaced the missing filling and shook my hand to thank me afterwards.

There's no moral here - I just hadn't posted in a while, and wanted to show you why. This is the most interesting thing that has happened in days. Although tonight I have to give one of those speeches to the entirety of my kid's preschool parent population again. At least the new and improved Novocaine has worn off so I won't be dribbling as I speak.

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Daaan to Margit

As some of you will know, I pass the days away sometimes by mailing celebrities and asking for signed photos. These primarily make cheap Christmas presents, but some I keep for myself. Ray Charles is a personal favorite, as are George Foreman, Angelina Jolie and the cast of Pimp My Ride - including Xzibit.

But my most recent success was from the heart. I e-mailed cheeky cockney duo Chas 'N' Dave via their website, explaining I was looking from some nostalgia from my past life in England. They sent back, not only a signed photo ("To Adam...") but also a copy of their Greatest Hits CD with a note saying: "We don't do this for everyone, but you're a long way from home." I had never really thought about being a long way from "home" - my "home" as I see it is Manhattan, and that's just a few miles away. Of course, my REAL home is in the New Jersey (Noooo Joisee) suburbs. So now I am all confused.

Either way, I'm off daaan to Margit. And if you're reading this boys, I'm snooker loopy for the CD.