Thursday, January 22, 2009

Adventures At The Dollar Store

Dollar stores serve a purpose in life. If you can get over the smell that prevails in all of them, a musty stink of bargain and old people, there are pure gems to be discovered. Photo frames for a buck? Me likey. Food and toothpaste? Not so much.

And then there's stuff like this:



I took the photo with my phone, so I apologize for the quality. However, I make no apology for the quality of the product it depicts. It appears to have once been an army commando, that would be wound up and then crawl across the carpet brandishing its rifle.

But now it has become Bat Superman, a cross between two of the world's greatest super heroes... that is wound up and then crawls across the carpet brandishing its rifle.

The Batman it depicts on the packaging is from long before actor Christian Bale took up the cowl. This Batman is the 1995 version played by Val Kilmer in Batman Forever. And consider this product is being billed as a hybrid, where is the reference to Superman (other than in the product name?) Is there a big "S" anywhere on the toy? Or a red cape? Nope, just gold flames up the thighs, a gold variation of the Batman symbol, and an M-16 machine gun (something that neither Batman or Superman would never, ever consider wielding.)

Also, consider the slogan: "COME ON! ENJOY THE PLEASURE TOGETHER!" Does said wind-up toy double as a marital aid? Perhaps just the slogan doubles as a slogan on a dollar store marital aid (that frankly would be right up there with food and toothpaste as something I would rather pay full price for, thanks) ? I'm just glad it comes with a spare machine gun, because it wouldn't be the same if the first one got lost.

Of all the things I actually did buy at the Dollar Store (gift wrap - it just gets torn up anyway, but I had to be careful to avoid the 2007 Graduation gift wrap) and two coloring books (that just get torn up eventually after they've been scribbled in), I feel the real pleasure was finding this hanging on the rack.

So, you know, I thought I would share it so we could ENJOY THE PLEASURE TOGETHER!