Gym'll Fix It

After doing zero exercise for six weeks straight (seriously, the most exertion I managed was walking around the Pathmark and forgetting I needed bananas when I was all the way over by the milk) I am back on track again thanks to a change in the weather and a gym membership.

The weather had conspired to freeze my "church" - the outdoor turf field where I spend my Sunday mornings playing soccer. I managed one game on the first Sunday in January when a good part of the field was still covered in ice and one poor player slipped and tore his MCL (which needed surgery, crutches, a cast, the whole nine yards.) From then until just this last week the field was either totally covered in snow and ice or I was out of town. I played this Sunday and the creaks and steam-hisses coming from all the players' joints was palpable. Still, it felt great to be out there.

A few weeks too late, we took up an offer of a free month at a local gym. I have known I've been out of shape for some time, but always believed it was fixable - just... you know, I'll fix it later. The gym has opened my eyes and got my excited about dropping some baggage and getting ready for summer.

The first trip back after several years of skipping the treadmill was a little painful and intimidating, but this gym is pretty great. Most people are normal there, give or take one or two women who are perma-tanned, boob-jobbed and hold court with four of their friends as they lift six ounce weights and sip their fat-free lattes. There's also a lot of people I know that go there, but none I hang out with other than when we find ourselves in the same place. This is a good thing.

Those of you that follow my facebook antics will know this, but an exchange took place yesterday which left my very confused. As I walked between two women working out on weight machines, one said to the other: "Do you watch Desperate Housewives?" and nodded at me. What was she trying to say? Here are some of my initial thoughts?

Q. "Do you watch Desperate Housewives? "

... because he clearly does.
... because he looks like he would get a lot out of it.
... but before you answer, let's wait until that guy walks away because it's a secret.
... because I think I look like Teri Hatcher, but I don't want that guy to hear me say that (she didn't. Not even close.)
... hey! I'm talking to you! DO YOU WATCH DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES? Ah, he's walked off.

The best situation I can come up with is that I look a very, very, very little bit like one of the male (I hasten to add) characters. But if I hadn't gone to the gym, I wouldn't have found that out. The gym just keeps on giving! I'm going back right now to learn some more and work on the guns!